Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Oh god, she's on the loose again

You ever get a really good train of thought going with a lot of potential to be a real conversation starter, or remember that you have a blog you made with the intention of letting out your midday rambles on but haven't touched in months, which reminds you of your wife...what?!You get online, sign into blogger after guessing three different passwords, click "new post", lay your hands down on the keyboard to type...and find you lost what you were thinking about? Yeah.

In real life, that probably would have been followed with me glancing around the room at my listeners only to be met with blank stares, and then, for the kajillionth time, saying "Just me, then?". If ever there was a catchphrase for me, it'd be that. I sometimes wonder if people think it saddens me that no one caught whatever reference or random blurb I threw out there, because I never know what my tone is saying. Thing is I quite like the awkward pauses that followed most things I say.

Every once in a blue moon I like to sit in front of the computer with a cup of tea, when I probably have something else way more worth my time to be doing, and look at gossip articles. I don't know why. I think it's cause it's associated with that "this reminds me of that time I went to the city and we were speeding around in our little lithe car and watching the lights zoom by like in photos where you shook the camera as you were taking it" feeling in my mind. It feels like something the girls who wear spagetti strap shirts three sizes too small for their torsos would be doing in the summer while they wait for their flavor of the week to pick them up to go to the beach. And so while I'm sitting there doing that it sort of sickens me. That's why they're called guilty pleasures I suppose.

One thing i do like doing on a regular basis that doesn't make me vomit through my nostrils is spend hours looking at pictures on DeviantArt or Found.com. Mostly the latter now. It's like when you watch a video on youtube and click on another on the sidebar and end up going from something about puppies to, 20 videos later, something about nebulas. It's a web/spiral/hoopla of awesomeness to get lost in. And when I look at pictures most end up being catergorized in my mind and associated with a feeling. like the gossip magazine thing. Like a girl in a white undershirt waking up and pulling the curtains back while still in bed and the light streaming in has been associated with this semi downtrodden house near me. They don't make sense, but it's nice to have something to compare things to in my head.

some common themes:
That one summer I was baby sat by the secretary at the desk in the Tae-Kwon-Doe place, and me and my sister played video games with her son, and I was introduced to Jet Set radio Future, which remains a favorite today, and we went to the beach by walking down the road for like two minutes and then we'd go to Tae-Kwon-Doe, and once we dressed up like the JSRF characters and rollerbladed on his street and I layed out in the rain on the street, and it was just an innocent sunny awesome summer.

going to the zoo with my mom and sister two years ago on the 4th of july. We blasted Regina Spektor on the way there and it was the best weather, bright but not blinding, warm without making you sweat, and the road was that nice shade of gray, and barely anyone was at the zoo and so we had free reign. Which reminds me of when I was younger and we went to the alligotar farm, after in the gift shop i got this treasure map, which ended up staying in it's package for months, but we went back home and we filled up our kiddy pool and had pizza bagels.

Pizza bagels I have backwards linked to the week I spent with a friend and his family in Disney, which was just so much fun, consisting of staying up VERY late, pillow fights, getting yelled at by a crazy grandma, haunted houses THE BEST ONE EVER THREE STORIES YEAH, and scaring people from on top of the washing machine.

The 8th grade trip to DC. ahh so much to say about it. But the feeling was...hmm, the crips cold, and I picture our hotel room from a distance, looking in and just a lamp is on, diffusing light through most of the room but not all of it, and some of the girls are on the bed and others by the table just hanging out. Lots of stuff reminds me of here, because so much went on, so I'll just leave this nice and vague, like the rest has been I suppose XD

/end themes

This is nice for me, because most of the time when I'm thinking, it's only half coherent, like I know what I mean so I don't really follow through with the thought, leaving me with an empty headed feeling. I don't reflect enough, and maybe now I will begin to. Maybe this is entertaining/puzzling/annoying/exploding someone else, and if so, yay? But it doesn't really matter, it's helping me out, it's purpose has been served for me at least, maybe as it progresses it can help someone else too :]